I have been told many, many, MANY times in my life that I apologize too much.
Recently, my life choices have given me a bit of a struggle. Career changes, challenges, and the desire to write still looms over every decision I make... it does not influence my decision, but it looms.
My decisions are based on what is best for my loved ones. period. The down side to that, (as if there could be one, right?), is that when I feel overwhelmed it makes me moody. Really, moody.
I am not used to being able to vent. Well, not without a nuclear fallout. But, I have been told that I spend the little free time I do have, (the part I'm not venting), apologizing for venting and expressing my frustrations. Then trying to re-gain a balance that was never really out of whack, (except in my own perspective).
Today, I was given permission, by my dear loved one, to vent, and then just skip the apology so I can go write. What a concept! It nearly knocked me down with its simplistic brilliance!
As it turns out, we all need to blow off steam every now and then, and I'm told that it doesn't mean that we are failing, or weak, or unpleasant, (I could go on, but I won't :).
I feel so much better, just knowing that I don't have to apologize for not being, well, perfect. I'm just sorry I didn't realize it sooner :) *kidding*
The moral of this? No matter how much is going on, or how busy we get, we do not have to feel guilty for taking the time to write. Its just not that big of a deal. I don't have to feel guilty for not spending every waking second of my life doing my 'duties'. That concept was completely self-implanted.
Deep breath... and back to the keyboard.